formal genuine apology

I have been informed that my family and parents were deeply upset about me writing about how I felt about our estrangment on the blog. I want to make it clear that my intent is not to hurt anyone by what I publish on the blog and do understand their point of view about keeping matters private.

Although I am under the impression that no one reads this blog except for Krista and Frank on the occasional basis, I do want to extend a genuine apology to my parents and family who may read this blog and say once again that anything published on this blog was not meant to offend you. I am deeply sorry if I did hurt anyone's feelings.

It's been an insane week and mid life crisis? lol

Friday 22 September - Adrian and I welcome our first house guest since we wrote our open email and take Adrienne to Corso Italia

Saturday and Sunday - Adrian and I giggle, talk, relax and just have a tv marathon that started on Friday.

Monday - Have a delightful chat with Frank at Tim Hortons, recieve phone call from cousin about family and parental response to blog, have problems speaking, standing and breathing..contact Tracs to take tomorrow off

Tuesday - write first draft of apology, but blogger won't publish it, search for family doctor and see doctor briefly in walk in clinic, find school keys, Adrian is starting to sick

Wednesday - Reprimanded by Department Head for sick day and mark entry sheets, feel like I can only breate with one lung, Adrian starts to feel sick, strange discussion in staff room about estranged parents and children and how people would feel in different scenarios (didn't realize my situation was so common, but after hearing other people stories it is interesting)

Thursday -Reprimaded by Vice Principal for sick day, Adrian grows more concerned about me and we want to really find a family doctor, Adrian takes the day off school because he is sick

Friday - still have no real idea what I did wrong at work, but taking genuine efforts to fix it. I have tried to send open invitation to parents, but just cannot do it...must be conditional.

So what is with the mid life crisis?
I just can't seem to take complete accountablity for my family or work. Let us begin with my family since it is the number one topic people discuss with me. I always begin the conversation by making it clear that my parents and I love and care for each other deeply. I never once questioned their devotion to me or how much they love and care for me. I just don't think they are capable of attending the wedding at the moment. Once it is well established that everyone in my family loves each other, then I explain why I don't think they are capable of going. I end the conversation by mentioning that if they can start by taking some steps to prove they are capable of attending the wedding, I am very open to inviting them.

They could begin by simply inviting Adrian and I out for a chat and tea or dinner. This would indicate that they can at least tolerate us as a couple in the same room. Once we all have a jolly time, then they can move on to a more bigger event or simply inviting us out more often as a couple and take a genuine interest in getting to know their future son in law. Once we had enough of these visits and I feel like they can handle a bigger event like a wedding, I will add them to the guest list. I mention my parents making the first move, because Adrian and I have spent two years making moves trying to repair our relationship with them and I think that my parents need to take accountability for their actions not me.

As for my work, it really doesn't make any sense. I told both my bosses that I had trouble speaking and breathing, which is why I typed the instructions for the supply teacher. They both knew I was teaching Romeo and Juliet and that the class will be performing it on oct 2. The part that made them most upset is that I chose to show a video of Romeo and Juliet. They think that videos lead to chaos and anarchy (well that was the gist of it anyway). So now I know no videos! They want full fledged lesson plans with heaps of work that that supply teacher or students will not be able to get through it all. Got it! : ) I may not truly understand what I did that was so wrong, but at least I can learn from it : )

Our first visitor, nothing days, sickness, explanations and apologies

Adrian and I had our first visitor since we set up our place on Friday - Adrienne! She called us and asked if she could come over. It was so great to see her and take her out to Corso Italia. It felt like a real home where you can just sit on a couch with a long time family friend and just talk. She had just finished going to the Health job fair and had this huge bag of information that she wanted to drop off home before going out again. I did feel a wee bad that we kept her so long that she could not go home to change.

The weekend was perfect. Adrian and I had our first nothing days. We just lazed around talking, giggling, playing, watching tv, cooking and just relaxing. I have been sick lately and I was trying to restrain from taking another sick day from work so early on in the year. I've had slight problems breathing and I wanted to check it out first. We both had so much fun and were delriously happy just spending time together.

I also met up with a friend of mine yesterday. They had read the blog and were trying to help me mend things with my parents. They had suggested the four of us go out to dinner together or perhaps one day my parents would have a change of heart. I began to explain how Adrian and I wanted a dinner together and twice my parents refused. I also shared my thoughts and theories on the issue.

My parents and I love each other and care deeply for one another. I have never questioned their devotion to me nor have I questioned how much they love me. There is no way my mother would go around ironing my clothes and packing them in bags if she didn't love me. There is no way my father would offer a shoe rack if he didn't love me. Despite our estrangement, I would not talk or reach out to them if I did not love them. I think the love is well established.

My theory is that they love me too much and cannot let go of their only child. My friend had mentioned that they have an only child and they would want to see their child set free once they could stand on their own two feet and defend themselves. They would want to see their child pursue a life of happiness. The person found the whole issue quite perplexing, especially the reason for why they had banned Adrian from their house and for treating us in that fashion for two years. The conclusion was to allow my parents to make the first move and to show me they are genuine in their approach that they want to build upon this relationship. I could not agree more.

I often talk about how much I changed while in Ireland and Scotland and perhaps this is one opportunity to explain what I meant. Since we are talking about parenthood, I will use an example from two different parenting techniques. There comes a time when the parents must prepare their new born baby for a transition between the parental bed and the crib. Some parents and scholars claim that the parent should set the baby in the crib and allow it to cry all night without attending to it once. Other parents and scholars say that they prefer to set the baby in the crib, but if the baby continues to cry the parent should discover what the problem might be...just in case there is a health crisis or some kind of emergency. Before going to Ireland, I was the parent who would rush to the crying baby and now I am the parent who lets it cry.

I think all parenting techniques are valid. Although I do think my parents are incapable of being truly happy for me, it has nothing to do with good or bad parenting. I think every parent believes they are taking the right course of action and that what they are doing is best for the child. I just don't agree with every tactic. I think there are different approaches and like I had mentioned earlier, my views on parenting have changed.

If you are wondering why I think my parents are incapable of being truly happy for me, the answer is quite simple. In order to be truly happy for someone, you must acknowledge that thier passion for that thing or person is equal or greater than their passion for you. For example, I am truly happy that my dad is going to Egypt. I can acknowledge that his passion for Egypt is equal to his passion towards his family. I want to see him pursue his childhood dreams, scholarly quests and adventures. I think my parents always had a hard time letting go or acknowledging that there could be something or someone that rivals my passion for them. This passion would also indicate that I don't need only them anymore to be truly happy and that I can be truly happy with them and something else or someone. I just don't agree with their choices, but I do think they are valid nonetheless. I also want to make it clear that you can respect people for their choices and not place a judgeement on whether they are good or bad, but still not agree with them. The previous blog was there to simply explain the choices my parents have made and why I do not agree with them - not place blame on them for the choices they did make.

Now to try to explain the guest list situation for the last time. Imagine you have a co-worker you have known for two years. Everyday you comment on thier partner as asshole/bitch, dummy, loser, idiot, user, or piece of shit. Every two weeks you mention that you are going to save money for their divorce and not their wedding. Would you expect a wedding invitation from your co-worker? Now if the answer is no, then why would you expect one from your only child? I highly doubt my parents think that their co-workers deserve more respect than their only child. I highly doubt that my parents think they raised a child without any sense of self respect or dignity. The only question would be is do parents get an automatic pass for simply saying they want to come to the wedding? I say no. If I wanted to attend my co-workers wedding, then I would have to take a series of steps to prove that I genuinely want to go and that I would not exhibit the same behaviour I have used constantly for the past two years. If I would take those steps for my co-worker, then why wouldn't I do it for my family?

Now I have been recently informed that my previous blog had hurt my parent's feelings and the Chinese side as well. I do want to make a heart felt apology for hurting both parties as it was not my intention. It should be noted that I did extend an open invitation to my parents once I thought they could prove beyond reasonable doubt that they could attend unsupervised and be genuinely happy for me. This offer still stands. Although I want to take my cousin's advice full heartly as I do respect and trust her greatly, it still too soon to extend an unconditonal open invitation. Weddings are precious celebrations of the couple's new life and union together and they deserve to be surrounded only by people who are genuninely happy for them. Once again, I do want to apologize for offending anyone as it was not my intent.

Finding keys, getting sick, having dinner with my parents and joining the theatre

It has been an interesting week filled with different events. I began wearing the shawl that Ellen and I bought in Edinburgh, Scotland. Well she bought one and I another that is the same colour as Cabot's kilts. It wasn't enough to keep me safe from the flu that is going around the school and having to constantly go outside for these weekly fire drills.

I have also lost respect from some of the students and therefore they recieved a huge shock when I printed out their mark entry sheets and they were astounded to discover that talking in class all day means several zeros. They protested and one even swore aloud, because none could understand that sitting around doing nothing also means I have nothing to mark. This isn't the first time I have encountered this very strange logic amongst teenagers. It seems to be a universal theme where they think the marks will appear out of nowhere. I also discovere that my academic kids are more lower functioning than I thought and I will have to spend more time with them.

I have also joined the school's theatre production as an Assistant Director and had my first week doing Caf duty where another co-worker and I vent about our day and time with the kids. We both agree we need to be mean, but it is against our nature that we are not too sure how to approach it. I have always known I had to be mean, but it just seems so strange to come on so strong with people who have done nothing to you.

I also had dinner with my parents on Wednesday and discovered that my dad will be going to Egypt as he always dreamed of and perhaps Italy and Sicily for the year after. I am very happy for him. My mother will be going to the Soo during Thanksgiving and I am also happy for her. We had a pleasant conversation and my mom kept wanting me to take a box of pizza home. They were nice enough to pick me up from Chapters and then drop me off at the subway once we were done and I thought my plan for not speaking about the wedding went well. I didn't even wear my engagement ring, because I thought my mother would make a comment about it and therefore an argument would break out. The only time I did mention the wedding was when I made a comment that Fiona was part of the bridal party. My mother made one request to see my ring.

I recieved an email from my mother stating that my parents were upset about being left out in the cold about the engagment and not included on the guest list. I wrote an email back trying to explain the situation. Our views on parenting differ quite greatly and it will take a very long time before I can trust them again. I spent most of my life negotiating my happiness and coming up with a compromise or giving it up entirely and that is something I will never understand as a future parent. (No, I am not pregant, but it doesn't stop me from seeing my students as my kids and wanting a child of my own)

I remember as a child that my mother would toss me around the room and hit me, but followed the actions with buying me a arbitrary gift. I quickly learned to loathe materialism, because it represented such insincerity and superficiality. She would also insist that I attend piano lessons with a teacher who use to smash my head against the keyboards and whenever I really wanted something nice, she would refuse my request. I began to learn that I only recieve nice things when my mother hurts me, but not when someone else inflicts the pain. My father was torn with the situation and would reward me with something I really liked, which made me like my father quite a bit. We couldn't let my mother know as she would become hysterical and probably hurt us. I was happy to recieve such gifts, because it made my childhood bearable. It also taught me that if something made me truly happy then I must do it in secrecy.

I discovered my passion for theatre and film while in high school and I wanted to pursue it in university. My intent was to do a double major in Management and Drama, but my parents refused to invest their money into a flaky degree such as Drama and I never did make it in Management. I ended up with an English Specialist, but that did not deter me from continuing to explore different avenues in the theatre and film world including journalism.

I discovered there is no such thing as an easy carreer and all of them will drive you insane at one moment or another, but it was something I could reflect upon and know that it is the true motvivating force in my life. My parents strongly dissaproved of my involvement with theatre and so I spent most of time time doing it in secrecy and then faced the recruptions once they discovered I was juggling my full time course load with several hours in theatre and film.

I still remember the jokes people made about me being a secret agent sneaking around campus, Mississauga and Toronto fulfilling my dreams and passions whereas most parents would have thought nothing of it all. They use to say it would be similar to a person sneaking around their own house to use the washroom.

I thought once I had completed my degree and I had done everything my parents asked me to doI would be free to choose a life that made me happy. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough money to move out on my own and had to obey by their rules. I was sent to Teacher's College despite my greatest efforts never to be a teacher again. I graduated with barely any money so the hopes of moving out looked bleak and again I had to obey my parents, which meant that I had to pursue a career in something I detested. The only thing I learned at this moment is that I had to make a choice of either spending an entire life unhappy, because I don't have any money to move out or take on a huge debt to move out of the house but be happy. I chose the debt.

Meanwhile, I had found love in Australia. I had found a person who would drive me insane at moments, but we were happy. He was younger than I and he came from a different culture. He was Hindu, Indian and an Ambassador's son. My mother abhored the idea that I could actually choose someone of that background and made my life back in Canada intolerable. Despite the fact that my boyfriend and father seemed to get along, I didn't recieve any support from my father. We broke up and I found someone else. I brought him home one day thinking that my parents would like him. My mother had introduced us and he was similar to my ex-boyfriend who had shared similar interests.

My father looked at him and conjured this theory that my boyfriend was using me for money. My mother finally believed him. My boyfriend and I couldn't understand it for at the moment my boyfriend had already spent nearly a grand on me and I barely spent anything. We met on a reserve and when it came time for me to make an emergency leave, my boyfriend gave me $400 cash no questions asked. It wasn't a loan, but rather a gift. He would continue to do such acts. He paid for his trip to Germany and England by placing $700 cash on our kitchen counter just to prove that he was not ripping me off. My parents saw it on the counter for a week, but continued to think he was using me for money. He bought me my camera that I used on my trip as an anniversary gift, but still they thought he was after my money. We kept on trying and trying and trying to reason with them, but nothing ever worked. He wasn't allowed to step foot into my house for most of our realtionship and in the two years we have been together, my mother only called him by his name two to four times. Despite this huge resentment and paranoia against Adrian, he always respected my parents and tried to be nice to them.

I thought once I moved out we could put our differences behind. I spent a long time cleaning up the apartment and sweeping it. Adrian helped to make the place presentable too. I was so excited about my parents seeing my place, but when my mother came in she didn't take off her shoes and simply walked around the place like it was some kind of pigstye. She also thought it wasn't worth the price. She insisted that I should be able to get a two story loft for $1075. My father - a traditional Catholic who is against the idea of moving in before marraige - refused to step on the sidewalk outside my apartment and stayed in the car. I knew then that my parents were incapable of being happy for me.

I always tell people that I am not angry at my parents nor do I feel any ill feelings towards them. It is simply a matter of difference. I could never do what they did to me, but perhaps it is because I am just too mushy. They will never understand why I made certain decisions. I think we can safely say that we do love each other unconditionally and that we will be there to support each other in times of need. I only slightly regret my decision, because it means there won't be a father daugther dance at the wedding or anyone to walk with me down the aisle. I think we are better off agreeing that we disagree about our actions.

fire alarms, parents, family gatherings and lesson plans

My head began to throb with the drone of loud music playing from the Recretaion room. A group of teenagers were hosting a party and the bass rang through the apartment building annoying every tenant that could hear that grating sound of rap and hip hop - music that immature brats find intriguing - when suddenly an even more irritating sound blasted through the hallways and apartment rooms. Some punk had pulled the fire alarm and now we were being evacuated out of the building at 4am.

We saw people shuffle their feet onto the sidewalk outside our building and rubbing the hazy sleep away from their eyes when Adrian made a joke about how this would be a interesting way to meet the other tenants in the building. A couple standing nearby agreed and we introduced ourselves to Steve and Simone who live in on the third floor. There was another woman too who works as a dental hygienist during the day and a comedian at Yuk Yuk's every friday. We all spoke about the potential cause of the alarm and how Steve and Simone had only moved in three months ago while the lady came here a year ago.

I made a joke about how I am a teacher so the fire alarms almost seem secondary to me and I feel like telling others how to safely leave the building and everyone laughed. For the first time in a very very long time, others actually had respect for secondary school teachers. The lady, Steve and Simone, talked to me as if I was a minor hero one step below the firefighters in New York for actually putting up with teenagers and trying to get them motivated to learn.

Thankfully the night was warm with a cold breeze and the firefighters came to check the alarm ratherly quickly. The music droned on for one more song and then I assume the teenagers grew a brain and actually stopped the party.

I awoke a few hours later and found an email from my mother telling me that my parents (especially my father) was hurt that they recieved news about my engagement through a e-card. This does sound reasonable to an extent and then my mother invited ME ONLY to the house to cook her dinner while she gets out of the hospital. This is when I had to explain that I still love my parents and care for them deeply and I will always make an effort to be there for them in times of need, but their choice to hang onto all the paranoia, angst, bitterness and resentment against my fiance has placed them on a need to know basis only. I told them that I have to move on with my new life with someone else and that I must concentrate on my new job. I also mentioned I will call them on the weekend when I can handle the stress of their paranoia and insanity a little more.

I did feel a bit guilty for informing them they are not invited to the wedding and how I think it is best for everyone. Despite Adrian's encouragement for me to call them personally to tell them of the engagement and to invite them to our wedding, I decided that I only want people there who are happy for us. Although my mom would never intentionally say something negative, she also has a problem for censoring her thoughts before she speaks..especially after she has been drinking. I do not want any potential embarrasing slips from my mother's mouth on my very happy, precious and expensive day. As for my father, I know he wouldn't say anything but he would have a frown and scowl on his face the entire time. People are bound to ask why the father of the bride looks so upset and when he implies its because he doesn't agree with the marriage then things become awkard again too. In order to prevent all negative aspects on the wedding day, they simply are not allowed to attend until they can geninuely be happy for me and my new life.

The very fact that my father refuses to even step on the sidewalk of my apartment and that my mother has only referred to Adrian by his name twice since we began dating two years ago indicates that neither parent is capable of actually enjoying the ceremony or reception. They think that being civil is enough, but I have also indicated that being civil and nagging at me constantly like nails on a chalkboard means that a simple notice of what is going on my life should suffice.

I had previously warned them of being cut out of my life due to their behaviour and I think it is only settling in now that it is quite possible they may loose regular contact with their only child because they cannot let go of this theory that Adrian is using me for money and that he only wants to marry me so that I can take on his debts. Despite Adrian paying for his vacations, buying me the digital camera, paying for dinners and such they cannot let it go. They also cannot accept the fact that Adrian does not have any debts unless you want to count how he has to pay back his OSAP once he graduates.

The only debt that I have incurred is simple moving out expenses that anyone would go through when they need to get their starter place. My father has a tendency to go through my banking information and so he probably assumes that the debt is Adrian's fault when in reality it is simple reality. Now granted most parents try to help out their children when they move out so they don't need to pay for every single little detail in the new place and therefore cutting down the cost of moving out, but my parents were so against the idea I had to start from scratch.

and this is when I realized every family seems to have a story as I accompanied Andrea to her family gathering. It was a lot of fun and they played these interesting games to test how well the familiy really knew the two birthday people - andrea's mom and uncle - and there were a lot of friendly people there too. I was so proud of Andrea! It was a true obstacle just for her to get to the party with an hour long drive with the GO bus to tracking down a taxi and even just getting around. hahaahah.

Now I am actually trying to do lesson plans for my Romeo and Juliet uniti and for some reason I cannot find information on The Wheel of Fortune and other concepts I want to discuss in class so I will probably go through my textbooks from uni and try to make something up for them.
Got to go now.

So glad I found him...

You can imagine how I felt when I walked through the door to see that Adrian had yet again done all the laundry, neatly folded the clothes, washed the dishes, put them away, and calls me to tell me when he will be home. He even wanted us to go to a romantic dinner today, because he has a gift card. We are going to Ellen's party instead, because we can always go to dinner a different day. He is always there to take care of me and he wants so desperately to contribute more to our life together, but I tell him just to study and do well. well I am going to lie down now and watch Y and R. Have something to eat and then put the clothes away.

bloody 'ell does the drama never cease?

You know my life would not be the same without some drama appearing out of nowhere just to give me that extra kick in the ass. I normally wear my school lanyard around my neck and do not take it off until I reach my apartment in Toronto. Although it looks silly to have two little keys danging from my neck, I feel safer knowing they are with me and I place them in my front pocket when I get home. It is not everyday that your boyfriend proposes to you at work and so that day I placed my lanyard in the front pocket of my school bag.

I probably should not have done that because the keys are gone. I am not sure where they are, but they are gone. I thought I had them with me when Adrian picked me up from work and there were two Cabot kids behind me on the bus. I thought I was wearing it then and only took it off that afternoon when I went to Dufferin mall to pick up photos I needed for an upcoming lesson. I think someone must have seen the little piece of lanyard sticking out and mistaken it for car keys and just ran away with it.

I have searched my whole apartment for those keys. Now that I cannot find the keys, the Vice Principal must replace the locks on two sections of our school. One of them is for all the classrooms in two wings, then all the cupboards in the clasrooms and then the workrooms. I assume the task will cost thousands of dollars.

But wait, it gets better! In addition to loosing the keys, I also lost the locker assignment sheet for my class. This means that a student has taken the list and now has access to 27 lockers with personal possessions. Today the Vice Principal and I had to issue new locks with new combinations and this is only my second week of work.

I guess you could say I am not exactly very popular, although people are trying to be nice. Now my department head and co-worker think it is odd that I was booted out of St. Martin, but a newbie was hired to replace me. According to union rules, I should have a higher say on whether I wanted to return to Martins and to some degree I really really really miss that place. So how was your week?

Once in a life time experience with my boss and boyfriend

I was still glowing about Adrian's cute note to me yesterday telling me that he loves me and when he would be home. I had become so engrossed in my work when the department phone rang during my lunch. The secretary asked for Amanda and I replied that I was she and she had asked me to come to the office. I was scared I would get in trouble for my purple cargo pants and Romeo t-shirt or perhaps for letting my students run amuck on the soccer field instead of doing classwork. I peered into the office and the secretary demanded that I visit the chapel. I wandered down the hallway to see the Principal pacing anxiously back and forth with his hands clenched between his back. He glanced out the window and for a moment I was scared that i had done something horribly wrong. Why would I need to meet privately with my boss in a chapel?

I stepped inside the chapel and he nodded his head towards the corner of the room. Adrian was standing there with a black suit and royal blue t-shirt. We had arranged to meet after school and I was confused on why he would be waiting for me in the corner of a chapel. Before I could make out a reasonable answer in my mind, Adrian was standing in front of me with a black suede box and a Irish engagement band..asking about whether I will marry him. Then I saw a huge white flash in the corner of my eye and turned around to see my boss fiddling with a digital camera!

Now I am even more confused as the flashes continue and I think I have pieces of my lunch stuck between my teeth. I suddenly remember that I am suppose to be answering a question and so I look up at Adrian and my boss, John, who both seem perplexed by the expression on my face and I say ' yes'. This seems to confuse them more and so therefore I am even more confused. I can still make out the flashes as John suggests for us to stand by the altar. I still see think there is food in my mouth!

I still can't believe what is going on so I start talking about how my kids and I were talking about me getting engaged this week and how excited we all were, but no one knew that it would be like this. John and Adrian still look perplexed by my expression and then John leaves us alone. Adrian mentions that my face is completely expressionless and they cannot tell whether I am genuinely happy about the whole thing. I say that I am, but I find it hard to articulate how I feel.

Then I bring Adrian upstairs to meet my co-workers and department head. I pause for a second for introducing him as my fiance and then suddenly the whole workroom is in a glow. Pauline mentions that I should go next door to tell Candice. I feel so happy, because yesterday Pauline made a wonderfully scrumptious cake and began to become more friendly with me. I tell Candice and afterwards adrian reminds me that I cannot exactly gather everyone in one room and surprise them if we already informed me people of today's events. I reluctantly decide to inform everyone through email, because I didn't want to annouce it at other people's parties nor did I want to do it individually and then people feel like I did some pecking order in who i chose to inform...so email is one great way to reach several people all at one time. There we go, that is how I spent one of my most precious day's with my boss who will send the photos and my boyfriend.

I can communicate with thee

Adrian and I now have the internet at home, which should make communication much easier. I attempted to use the net during my first week at work, but my boss would linger around the computers and could read my emails and replies. I can tell my co-workers are trying to get along with me and I think for the most part we should all have a good time. I really miss my Sin Bin boys, Frank, Seamus, Tom and Alex because there was a stronger bond with them.

I am constantly surprised by how well Adrian and I are doing living together. He cooks dinners, puts his clothes in the laundry hamper and actually does the laundry, he cleans the dishes and puts them away, assembles furniture and still makes time to do the small things for just us. I am actually more of the slob and person who does not do as much. I am very happy, but this place has yet to feel completely like home.

I enjoy living and shopping in Corso Italia and we have explored our surroundings. We both like dufferin mall better than the galleria and found some interesting places along the way. I am also enjoying my time at work.

The academic kids and I are on a honeymoon and for the first time I have my own personal PR group who is recruiting more kids to join my class. lol. We are having fun together and some of them even respond when I say, "Ba bene?" with a cheerful "ba bene!". Half of the kids read Romeo and juliet in grade 8 so it makes our time together go much faster than expected. Well I have to go prepare for lessons now as much of my time is consumed by trying to settle in..

oh i also discoverd that melissa from u of t and christine from sheridan live one block away from me, which makes it even more fun. i met christine today at church hehehehe. well until then...

peace, love and harmony
amanda