Some good news

It is delightful to report that Adrian recieved a job offer for a Supervisor in Training position at Value Village. It pays $14.50 an hour so we can stay in our apartment for a while or search for a new place to live. Most importantly, it gives me a few days rest from the job search so that I can recover from my burn out. I have had interviews at placement agencies and some look promising.

I also had a lovely time with my mother after one of the interviews. We met up for lunch and went shopping (although I knew that I should have rested it was still fun). I also had a lovely dinner with my extended family for Chinese New Year and it was great to see my cousin, Justin, who arrived from California for a weekend visit. We all laughed and shared stories, but the one moment that almost brought Adrian and I to tears is when my Aunt Choi and Christine gave Adrian the little red envelopes. Adrian whispered that he felt like he was adopted so the gesture meant a great deal to us. It is rare that Adrian feels a part of anything, so thank you to my family for that moment. I also want to thank my Aunt Terry and cousin Laura for helping me out with the impending legal matters.

I also love watching the Oscars and it was great to see people who deserve the award were given merit for their craft. I literally screamed with joy when Martin Scorsee won for best director and best picture. He has waited years for that recognition and I am glad the academy finally gave it to him. Perhaps Peter O'Toole and Leo will get their recognition one day too. I guess you could say that watching all the montages reminds me of my true passion - film. It brightens my day. I guess you could also say that watching Marty finally win reminds me that patience truly is a virtue. Things may seem dreary and dark now...and God knows there are moments when death truly feels like the most serene thing in the world, but if I hang in there..all the injustices will fade and I will have my moment of glory.

Well, I must rest now. Talk to you soon.

Movies and Happiness

Sometimes we forget about the simple things that make us happy. I still recall the thrill and exhilaration of turning a doorknob after spending months in a cast for my broken wrists. I discovered some innovative and creative ways of doing simple things in life such as eating, showering, washing my hair, typing and so forth...but I was never able to turn a doorknob. I actually began to cry tears of joy when I could open and close my front door.

I share that same feeling now. I am so happy that I have a bed to sleep in at night (and it is my bed too!) I am happy that I have my own kitchen with my own plates and cutlery. I am happy that I have food in my cupboard, drawers and fridge. I am happy that I have clothes to wash, dry, fold and put away. I am happy that I have access to speak to you now on the internet and that I pay for this service. I am equally happy that I have a computer and keyboard to type. There are so many marvellous things in my apartment such as towels, hair dryers, facial wash, body wash, lotion, q-tips, maxipads, shampoo and scrubs. There are blankets, sheets, pillows and games. There are laptops, notebooks, pens, binders and paper. There is a printer/scanner/ photocopier, playstation 2 and dvd recorder. There is a wealth of books and neocitrans.

I feel like a queen in my own castle. I am more happy because there is enough electricity to illuminate it and enough water for me to wash myself and dishes. What more could a person ask for? Sometimes we need movies to remind us of our luxories and to remind us that even in our darkest hours, we still have something. If you are wondering what movie has inspired me so greatly, it is The Pursuit of Happyness.

I also enjoyed watching Click as I have come across the problem that years seem to float by as I sail on autopilot and life strolls along without me. I am also glad that I have taken moments to stop and enjoy things along the way. I enjoyed A Scanner Darkly, but you need to be in a philosophical mood to watch that one and perhaps not so depressed since (like The Pursuit of Happyness) it is based on a novel that reflects true events. I think the most mediocre film was De Niro's A Good Shepard.

I respect De Niro as much as I do Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie, but I thought De Niro would have demanded more character development from his screenwriters. The only time we see Jolie is when she throws a brief fit and cries before vanishing from the screen. De Niro makes a few cameo performances and Damon's character never truly evolves or declines. He remains at the same plateau during the whole movie. The only thing that we can see is that Damon's character is suppose to be love torn as he seems to sleep with his fair share of women and proclaiming love to most.

Well it is nearly 9pm and Adrian is still not home. I must give him a call.

Health, Job Hunt and More

It has been a while since I last updated my blog and so there are a few things I have yet to mention.

FRIENDS AND DREAMS
I continue to have these dreams that haunt me at night where I feel that I am vanishing and disappearing from all my loved ones. For some reason, I really feel that I must call Ellen : ) Perhaps it is because I feel that I should be working more on staying in touch with my best friends.

HEALTH
The good news is that the neurologist could not find anything spectacular about my health, but did notice that my balance was off. He made an appointment with the Hearing and Balance Centre at the Toront General Hospital. I went to my physiotherapist (a bit embarrased that I was not strong enough to keep up with the exercises) and he agreed that my right side of the body was affected by a balance problem. I do not walk as well either so he gave me a few exercises to do (which I am also ashamed of not doing due to my painful broken toe).

I went to the Hearing and Balance test and the administrator was scared that my left side did not respond to any stimuli. She poured cold and hot liquids into my ears as well as make me participate in a few sensory exercises all while having electrodes on my face. The right side was greatly disturbed by the cool water and I felt like I was spirialing up and down through a black abyss while spinning in all diferent directions. The left ear felt nothing, but a few moments of uncomfortable water. She said that there is something wrong with the left part of my brain and therefore that is why I suffer problems on the right side, but I will know more details in two weeks.

JOB HUNT
Adrian and I gave our termination notice of our apartment lease just in case we cannot land a job by the end of March. I have an interview tomorrow and he has had four lately, including one from CIBC.

CARTOONS
I am most happy when I am around Adrian. He takes care of me despite my crying fits and there are times when I feel like we are children once again. We play games together and lately we have watched a few cartoons Wally burned for us. They are all from our childhood and they range from Transformers, Robotech, Voltron, Star Wars Ewocks, Heman, She-Ra, and my favorite Gummi Bears *starts singing the show tune*

THE SAGA CONTINUES
I went to my doctor to refill my prescription for my anti-depressants and to get my doctor to sign my E.I. form. The E.I has made a decision on part of my claims and will give me money from December to February for my illness, but is unsure about my quitting. I was asked by E.I to write a detailed letter as the E.I lady seemed quite outraged by the antics at the board and union.

My doctor was so outraged that he called the Human Rights Commission. The Human Rights Commission told me I had to speak with the head office at OECTA, then write a letter to the Labour Relations department, contact a lawyer and then come back to the Human Rights. The lady at the HR finds the whole situation appalling and wants me to take some serious measures to make it right.

LAST WORDS
Although it is true that I am suicidal at times and do cry, it is often Adrian that rushes towards me with words of comfort and warm hugs to reassure me that all will be well. I still have to believe that all will be well in the end and to continue singing, smiling and hopefully one day dancing.