Just when you thought it may slow down a bit...

I am slowly discovering why I really do not belong in the city and I should just move out of the country into a rural area. I need a break from my life and hope that thanksgiving will be more relaxing. I went to the bridal show on the weekend, which was fun. I got a chance to spend time with Krista and Adrian while discovering new ideas for our wedding. I also made time to call my parents and try to mend some of the tension in our family.

I arrived on Monday morning expecting it to be like any other morning. You could imagine my surprise when I found out that one of my co-workers had committed suicide. First period was insane, but I truly appreciate my kids. They had the emotional maturity to understand that this was a new and difficult time for everyone and therefore a chance for all of us to work together. I had spoken to my co-worker about his depression and our last conversation was me trying to convince him to go on with life. I still refuse to sit in his chair and have not changed the room since we last spoke. I like to think that he is still with us gazing out the window and staring at the pictures on the wall. I just attended his funeral today and have had two social workers check up on me to make sure I am handling his death well.

I feel most sorry for his wife who exchanged vows with him 81 days ago in the same church where they held the funeral. I also feel sorry for his mother and grandmother for no parent should see their child go before them. I am so exhausted yet I cannot sleep. I think overall I am doing fine since I have several positive aspects of my life to think about. The whole department and school is pulling together and I think we will make it out okay.