My father, Adrian, God and Timeless Bliss

I highly doubt that God frowns upon people sharing household duties such as washing the dishes doing the laundry, buying groceries or watching tv together, but for some reason people often associate living together before being married as some form of sin. I think most people have committed the sin they fear the most long before they marry and it has nothing to do with co-habitation. It simply has to do with pre-marital sex and most people assume once you move in that the one bedroom may be a bit of a concern. I guess you could say that I am confident that I have nothing wrong in the eyes of God, but I do worry about the misconceptions.

My father reluctantly loaned me the car yesterday so that I may buy more things for the apartment, but I did not think it was worth mentioning that I would also be dropping by the airport to pick up my boyfriend who I had not seen in five months and drop him off at a hostel in Toronto. I thought the shopping and transferring would only take a couple of hours and I would be at home in ample time.

My mother called while I was at the airport saying that Adrian had called to notify me of flight delays and I assumed that both parents knew about my side trip. I was so jittery to pick up adrian and kept worrying that I did not look my best for him. I remember watching him pass through the doors and I ran towards him and flung my arms around his neck. It was so great just to have him there so that we could kiss and walk towards the car together holding hands. He was getting hungry so we made a slight detour to our new place together and ate dinner at Eden, a local Italian resteraunt. Although I could not eat much of my delicious Pasta Primavera, Caesear Salad and Broccoli poppers, I truly enjoyed just sitting there with him and talking about little things. It was great to show him around and even point to which room we were going to be living in and the little deli's along the street. My mother had called with a certain urgency in her voice.

My father had to go to the hospital due to a severe migraine. He thought I had lied to him about the car and became so enraged that he began to vomit and have these disabling migraines. My mother later told me that she believed that he has built up so much anger and resentment against Adrian and I for moving out, because he is a traditionalist and does not approve of the idea. She also pointed out that it was him that gave her the crazy notion that he was a gold digger. My father was so angry at my mother for being civil with Adrian on the phone earlier in the evening that he forbade her to watch TV! He called her stupid and went on this rampage. She asked me to sit down with my father and talk to him about the whole thing.

It seems that my brief interlude of timeless bliss has come to an end. I truly enjoy not knowing what day or time it is. Although I feel bad for constantly missing appointments, I also want a life of no worries more than anything else. I want to roll out of bed on my own time and flow through life with a more relaxing pace and step. I have always hated conforming to the Type A ways when genuinely I am a Type B person. Sometimes I think the conflict between the two will eventually explode and I will be like the other celebrities who just take off to Africa and live in in the jungle for a year due to some mental breakdown. *sigh* I just read an article about how long workhours and intense jobs link to hypertension and diabetes and I would not be surprised that my teaching experience is the true link to most of my health problems. I am just happy that I am on my way towards a brighter future either at my new school or perhaps another profession once I can stablize myself. until we speak again...

peace, love and harmony
amanda