Some after thoughts and more memories
My cousin asked me whether I like Riccardo and I told her the answer was complicated, but I do love my boyfriend and I am very excited about moving in with him. I did promise her that one day I would explain the whole Riccardo phenomena so here is my first try. (not including the other blog enteries).
Sometimes you meet someone and if you believe in fate or destiny, it seems that your paths were destined to cross at some point in your life. This person does not have to be a romantic link like some John Cusak movie. I am thinking of Serendity. It doesn't have to be religious either as it is true sometimes God does appear to us disguised as a beggar or some other random person. It just means that you were suppose to meet this person and perhaps through this experience you learn more about yourself and the things that you desire.
For example, I know that Riccardo and I shared an equal fondness for the Texan family, especially the daughter. She is fourteen years old - the same age as his eldest daughter and the same age as my students. I guess you could say she reminds me of my favorite students and parts of her remind him of his daughter. I remember one occasion when we first arrived at the Chianti hills and he was offering everyone a glass of special wine. I could see him looking ahead at me and casting his eyes on the girl. The daughter was standing just ahead of me in the line and I could tell she reluctantly accepted the glass. When it came to my turn to accept the glass, our fingers brushed up against each other and I could feel a spark rush through my fingertips and throughout my body. I blushed and our eyes met for a while. I could tell he had felt it too as he had a similar expression on his face and then both of our eyes averted to the daughter. We looked at each other and smiled. I walked away.
I could hear her telling people that Riccardo had given her the glass and she was reluctant to drink it, because in America the drinking age is 21. I had tried to explain that in Italy everyone drinks a glass a wine with their meal regardless of age and for her just to enjoy the evening. I knew at that point it could be percieved that a man giving a girl a drink may not be appopriate, but when you are in a different land with different customs the most innocent gesture could be taken the wrong way.
I also noticed that we had similar speech patterns and would often make similar types of jokes. Some of them are rooted in heritage such as being Sicilian and shooting people or doing things my way. There are other mafia references and it is done as a form of protection from the onslaught of comments we have heard over the decades and we just want to beat the person to the punch. Then there are other jokes about coming from a mixed heritage. For example, as a child I would often joke about being Chinese today or being Sicilian today, so it was quite amusing when we had to write our tour director's name on the comment card and someone exclaimed, "Richard" and he replied "okay so I am Irish today." Then there is the actual speech patterns where you place the intonations and such that do remind me sometimes of myself.
I also noticed we shared similar mannerisms and could make the same jokes there as well. Some of the gestures were from our heritage while others such as mimicing the papal or priestly blessing come from what we simply think is funny at the time. I can see a slight look of recognition each time the other does something that only we would know that we do ourselves. So I guess you could say Riccardo reminds me of what I may have been like if I had grown up in Sicily rather than Canada. It would be like the Sliding Doors phenomena.
I also learned a few things about myself and one of them is my desire for children. I always knew that I wanted my own biological children and to start a family, but what I did not realize I am also okay with joining other people's families. You often hear one of foopah's of dating is that when you have children of your own that others will be reluctant to date you, because of what they deem as emotional baggage. I really don't understand now why anyone would think such a thing.
For example, we were on our way to drop off my Vice Principal from Grade 2 and her husband at the airport when they had asked Riccardo if he had any children. He began by telling them (and later me who was looking on in the conversation) that he had a daughter who was 14, a son who was 8 and another daughter who is 4 months old. He glanced up at me with this awkard smile as to indicate one of two things: (a) sorry I am taken or (b) sorry I didn't want you to know I had kids. In any regards, I thought to myself that fact that he has kids would not stop me from dating such a person. It was more the fact that I am taken and there is a woman somewhere in Sicily who just gave birth to his child four months ago. It was a pleasant feeling to know that my desire for children extended beyond simply my biological children and if for some reason I could not have ones of my own at least I know that I would be okay to raise others.
I also discovered that he has a degree in Ancient History and that this will be his last year as a tour director. He doesn't want a moving classroom anymore and would much prefer to be a teacher in Sicily. I can tell that he would make a great teacher, because of the way he structures the day. He begins by telling his audience the agenda for the day and then proceeds into telling them the history and sometimes asking refresher questions and then ends the day by reviewing what we saw and what we will do tomorrow. If that is not a classic technique in teaching, I am not sure what else is...lol. The former Vice Principal, her husband and I agreed he would make a fine teacher who would really inspire his students. I guess you could say he touches that part of myself as well.
There are so many things that I discovered about my identity and dreams that it will take a while before I can convey them all in words, but in the end I feel that he is partially responsible for this personal journey and for that he will always be a part of me. I cannot count how many times his conversations with what now would be his children, friends, collegues, random people and perhaps a mistress or wife (although he claims to be divorced) helped me in my relating to and speaking to people in Termini.
I remember our very last moment together. I was the last off the bus and he had just kissed my mother's hand to say good night. He looked at me and beckoned me to come over for what he said would be more kisses. I felt a flood of emotions overwhelm me. A part of me thought I may be foolish to read so much into innocent gestures and perhaps most of what I recall may be a figment of my imagination. A part of me was upset about being upset that he had checked into a hotel with a lady in Assisi. A part of me never wanted to leave Italy and perhaps continue the dream in Sicily. Most of me just wanted to keep learning about what was going on inside of me. I knew that if I looked at him, I would be completely lost. I simply opened my arms and said, "hug". We wrapped our arms around each other and I could hear his heart beating against his chest and it seemed that we both really should say something. I wanted to speak, but could not get the words out. I simply raised my head, unravelled my arms and jogged to Li who was walking ahead. I threw one arm around her waist and we laughed back to the hotel. I never did look back, because there I could still feel his gaze and was scared what I do if I had met it.
Sometimes you meet someone and if you believe in fate or destiny, it seems that your paths were destined to cross at some point in your life. This person does not have to be a romantic link like some John Cusak movie. I am thinking of Serendity. It doesn't have to be religious either as it is true sometimes God does appear to us disguised as a beggar or some other random person. It just means that you were suppose to meet this person and perhaps through this experience you learn more about yourself and the things that you desire.
For example, I know that Riccardo and I shared an equal fondness for the Texan family, especially the daughter. She is fourteen years old - the same age as his eldest daughter and the same age as my students. I guess you could say she reminds me of my favorite students and parts of her remind him of his daughter. I remember one occasion when we first arrived at the Chianti hills and he was offering everyone a glass of special wine. I could see him looking ahead at me and casting his eyes on the girl. The daughter was standing just ahead of me in the line and I could tell she reluctantly accepted the glass. When it came to my turn to accept the glass, our fingers brushed up against each other and I could feel a spark rush through my fingertips and throughout my body. I blushed and our eyes met for a while. I could tell he had felt it too as he had a similar expression on his face and then both of our eyes averted to the daughter. We looked at each other and smiled. I walked away.
I could hear her telling people that Riccardo had given her the glass and she was reluctant to drink it, because in America the drinking age is 21. I had tried to explain that in Italy everyone drinks a glass a wine with their meal regardless of age and for her just to enjoy the evening. I knew at that point it could be percieved that a man giving a girl a drink may not be appopriate, but when you are in a different land with different customs the most innocent gesture could be taken the wrong way.
I also noticed that we had similar speech patterns and would often make similar types of jokes. Some of them are rooted in heritage such as being Sicilian and shooting people or doing things my way. There are other mafia references and it is done as a form of protection from the onslaught of comments we have heard over the decades and we just want to beat the person to the punch. Then there are other jokes about coming from a mixed heritage. For example, as a child I would often joke about being Chinese today or being Sicilian today, so it was quite amusing when we had to write our tour director's name on the comment card and someone exclaimed, "Richard" and he replied "okay so I am Irish today." Then there is the actual speech patterns where you place the intonations and such that do remind me sometimes of myself.
I also noticed we shared similar mannerisms and could make the same jokes there as well. Some of the gestures were from our heritage while others such as mimicing the papal or priestly blessing come from what we simply think is funny at the time. I can see a slight look of recognition each time the other does something that only we would know that we do ourselves. So I guess you could say Riccardo reminds me of what I may have been like if I had grown up in Sicily rather than Canada. It would be like the Sliding Doors phenomena.
I also learned a few things about myself and one of them is my desire for children. I always knew that I wanted my own biological children and to start a family, but what I did not realize I am also okay with joining other people's families. You often hear one of foopah's of dating is that when you have children of your own that others will be reluctant to date you, because of what they deem as emotional baggage. I really don't understand now why anyone would think such a thing.
For example, we were on our way to drop off my Vice Principal from Grade 2 and her husband at the airport when they had asked Riccardo if he had any children. He began by telling them (and later me who was looking on in the conversation) that he had a daughter who was 14, a son who was 8 and another daughter who is 4 months old. He glanced up at me with this awkard smile as to indicate one of two things: (a) sorry I am taken or (b) sorry I didn't want you to know I had kids. In any regards, I thought to myself that fact that he has kids would not stop me from dating such a person. It was more the fact that I am taken and there is a woman somewhere in Sicily who just gave birth to his child four months ago. It was a pleasant feeling to know that my desire for children extended beyond simply my biological children and if for some reason I could not have ones of my own at least I know that I would be okay to raise others.
I also discovered that he has a degree in Ancient History and that this will be his last year as a tour director. He doesn't want a moving classroom anymore and would much prefer to be a teacher in Sicily. I can tell that he would make a great teacher, because of the way he structures the day. He begins by telling his audience the agenda for the day and then proceeds into telling them the history and sometimes asking refresher questions and then ends the day by reviewing what we saw and what we will do tomorrow. If that is not a classic technique in teaching, I am not sure what else is...lol. The former Vice Principal, her husband and I agreed he would make a fine teacher who would really inspire his students. I guess you could say he touches that part of myself as well.
There are so many things that I discovered about my identity and dreams that it will take a while before I can convey them all in words, but in the end I feel that he is partially responsible for this personal journey and for that he will always be a part of me. I cannot count how many times his conversations with what now would be his children, friends, collegues, random people and perhaps a mistress or wife (although he claims to be divorced) helped me in my relating to and speaking to people in Termini.
I remember our very last moment together. I was the last off the bus and he had just kissed my mother's hand to say good night. He looked at me and beckoned me to come over for what he said would be more kisses. I felt a flood of emotions overwhelm me. A part of me thought I may be foolish to read so much into innocent gestures and perhaps most of what I recall may be a figment of my imagination. A part of me was upset about being upset that he had checked into a hotel with a lady in Assisi. A part of me never wanted to leave Italy and perhaps continue the dream in Sicily. Most of me just wanted to keep learning about what was going on inside of me. I knew that if I looked at him, I would be completely lost. I simply opened my arms and said, "hug". We wrapped our arms around each other and I could hear his heart beating against his chest and it seemed that we both really should say something. I wanted to speak, but could not get the words out. I simply raised my head, unravelled my arms and jogged to Li who was walking ahead. I threw one arm around her waist and we laughed back to the hotel. I never did look back, because there I could still feel his gaze and was scared what I do if I had met it.
posted by Ophelia Pace at 5:34 AM
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