My first semester and experience with teaching
I created a list of things I need to prepare for my journey to Ireland, Scotland, Italy, Germany, England and France, but I think I should debrief on my teaching experience before tackling another huge task.
Each semester feels like an entire school year condensed into five short months, which means my teaching experience is often a grueling emotional and physical boot camp. I began the school year at my previous school and I can empathize with vets returning to a war zone.
All the tables, chairs, computers and walls seem like monuments of a horrid past.
I look upon these ancient ruins and an overwhelming sense of fear, angst, and anxiety pulsates through my body. I plop into a nearby chair and bury my face in the palm of my hands. All the bewilderment, confusion, and sense of defeat and defiance from the past haunt me. The memories of my first year teaching at this school keep flashing in my mind and make it difficult for me to articulate what is provoking these emotions and reactions. I want to cry and the new year has not even begun.
Teachers are not supposed to be in charge with the entire operation of a school, but I often found myself in that position. I would begin the semester by recruiting new students for our program and contacting them to join an orientation session. I would prepare an orientation with my new co-worker who was new to Ontario. As a resident, I felt it necessary to introduce my co-worker to OISE and the resources we have here in Toronto for teachers and welcome them to our province. I would take on the mentor role for the first two to three weeks of school and then allow them to take over since they had more teaching experience than I.
We would meet the students and begin the course selection process by discovering their career and academic aspirations. Our pilot project caters to students who have dropped out of school, been expelled or suspended or simply labeled as At Risk Youth. These students are given a second chance to complete any outstanding high school credits while earning an additional credit at Sheridan College. This process means the teachers have approximately two months to prepare these students for college life while laying down the foundational skills in order for them to graduate high school. I thought the process would be easier if their last high school credits pertain to the courses they would eventually take in college.
Once the course selection process began, I would have to search for resources since both times the only objects we were given were a few tables and chairs. There was a moment during my first year where we ordered a few textbooks and credit recovery booklets, but for the most part my co-worker and I would have to find our own resources for the thirty odd courses we would be teaching that semester. Although I specified that I did not want to teach a large course load because I would be taking an Additional Qualification course at OISE for Special Education, I ended up with a list of thirty courses I needed to cover either through credit recovery or brand new subjects. I complained to my superior and asked whether there would ever be a limit to the amount of courses I would teach per semester and the answer was no.
It became clear to the students who the natural leader in the program was and they would react appropriately. The fact that I needed to act as the resident Special Education teacher, Guidance Counselor, Administrator, Teacher and Child Youth Worker made it difficult for me to retain my strength. They understood that the countless responsibilities were wearing me down and it became difficult for me to speak and move around the room. They knew I had placed my trust in my co-worker to take some of the burden off my shoulders and I soon became more of a support figure rather than a patriarchal figure.
My Principal was an extremely fickle person and she would often tell me that I was taking on too much responsibility and that I need to detach myself from my job. I would relax and prevent the job from consuming every waking moment only to discover that she held me responsible for every action and decision-taking place on our campus. If something was not running smoothly on our campus, it was simply my fault. If a student needed something, it was up to me to find a way to make it happen. I began to dub myself as the fairy godmother since it seemed that I had to keep pulling miracles out of my ass just to please my superior. One day I just broke down crying at work and told everyone that I wanted to quit. I could no longer take this crazy lifestyle since I had been working under these conditions for a year and a half. It was already difficult to talk about Stephen Hawking, Leonardo Da Vinci and Bill Gates all in one sentence in order to answer student questions about their courses, but it was entirely different story trying to appease the increasing demands from my boss.
My boss became concerned about my mental and physical well being since it obvious that my health was in decline. I would discover blood in all my bowel movements and sometimes my nose would bleed as well. My hair began to fall out and I would suffer from dizzy spells that left me motionless. The doctors also noticed polyps in my uterus and an increase of abnormalities in my ovaries, which led them to believe I had cancer. I also had a continuous menstrual flow for six months. The doctors and I began running tests before I began the school year but the stressful life seemed to make matters worse. They would run blood test after blood test after blood test. We soon discovered that the amount of blood loss led to a severe iron deficiency. A normal person might have an iron blood count of 40, whereas mine was 6.
The combination of cancer threats, iron deficiencies, and the pressure from work made life almost unbearable. I spoke with a union rep about my working conditions and leave of absence. He requested all my work emails and was appalled at what I had to endure for such a long time. After six weeks of working at my previous school, it was time to pack up and say goodbye. I ended up taking six weeks off in order to recover from my illness, but the transition wasn’t very smooth and I felt compelled to help my students during that time period. I was given strict orders not to do any work and perhaps my interference led to some bitter experience for the supply teachers and staff.
Once the doctors and I agreed I could return to work, I had to prepare for a second battle. Despite my efforts to create a truce between my boss and I by coming in during my sick leave to help with the program and all the nice emails I had received from her during this instable time, she was preparing a counter attack on my mental health and teaching ability. The Health department and Principal wanted me to attend a psychological evaluation before I returned to work, because my Principal thought I was insane for teaching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and The Chronicles of Narnia as part of the English curriculum. She could not understand why I would tell students to read the novel and compare it to the movie. She thought I had an obsession with fantasy and that only insane people like fantasy…therefore (and let me just make this clear that I and the millions of people around the world who support the HP and Narnia franchise) was insane.
I explained to her that my students were low functioning and that there were statistics proving the HP franchise increases the literacy level in most students. I also explained that the Narnia was a classic tale renowned for its religious allusions so it would make it easier for me to teach Narnia to my kids taking English and Religion. I also confessed that I chose the books randomly, because I knew the movies were coming out and most likely would be blockbusters. I could rely on the media to create a certain buzz and hype over the books, which might motivate the kids to actually read the books. The students seemed to enjoy the books, but not all of them wanted to read such long prose. You can only imagine my surprise when the Principal ordered the kids to attend at field trip to the theatre to watch the movies as part of their cumulative project even though I was against the idea!
My union rep heard both cases and told me not to attend the evaluation. After a short battle with my union rep, it was decided that I should be transferred to a new school and so begins my next tale…
Each semester feels like an entire school year condensed into five short months, which means my teaching experience is often a grueling emotional and physical boot camp. I began the school year at my previous school and I can empathize with vets returning to a war zone.
All the tables, chairs, computers and walls seem like monuments of a horrid past.
I look upon these ancient ruins and an overwhelming sense of fear, angst, and anxiety pulsates through my body. I plop into a nearby chair and bury my face in the palm of my hands. All the bewilderment, confusion, and sense of defeat and defiance from the past haunt me. The memories of my first year teaching at this school keep flashing in my mind and make it difficult for me to articulate what is provoking these emotions and reactions. I want to cry and the new year has not even begun.
Teachers are not supposed to be in charge with the entire operation of a school, but I often found myself in that position. I would begin the semester by recruiting new students for our program and contacting them to join an orientation session. I would prepare an orientation with my new co-worker who was new to Ontario. As a resident, I felt it necessary to introduce my co-worker to OISE and the resources we have here in Toronto for teachers and welcome them to our province. I would take on the mentor role for the first two to three weeks of school and then allow them to take over since they had more teaching experience than I.
We would meet the students and begin the course selection process by discovering their career and academic aspirations. Our pilot project caters to students who have dropped out of school, been expelled or suspended or simply labeled as At Risk Youth. These students are given a second chance to complete any outstanding high school credits while earning an additional credit at Sheridan College. This process means the teachers have approximately two months to prepare these students for college life while laying down the foundational skills in order for them to graduate high school. I thought the process would be easier if their last high school credits pertain to the courses they would eventually take in college.
Once the course selection process began, I would have to search for resources since both times the only objects we were given were a few tables and chairs. There was a moment during my first year where we ordered a few textbooks and credit recovery booklets, but for the most part my co-worker and I would have to find our own resources for the thirty odd courses we would be teaching that semester. Although I specified that I did not want to teach a large course load because I would be taking an Additional Qualification course at OISE for Special Education, I ended up with a list of thirty courses I needed to cover either through credit recovery or brand new subjects. I complained to my superior and asked whether there would ever be a limit to the amount of courses I would teach per semester and the answer was no.
It became clear to the students who the natural leader in the program was and they would react appropriately. The fact that I needed to act as the resident Special Education teacher, Guidance Counselor, Administrator, Teacher and Child Youth Worker made it difficult for me to retain my strength. They understood that the countless responsibilities were wearing me down and it became difficult for me to speak and move around the room. They knew I had placed my trust in my co-worker to take some of the burden off my shoulders and I soon became more of a support figure rather than a patriarchal figure.
My Principal was an extremely fickle person and she would often tell me that I was taking on too much responsibility and that I need to detach myself from my job. I would relax and prevent the job from consuming every waking moment only to discover that she held me responsible for every action and decision-taking place on our campus. If something was not running smoothly on our campus, it was simply my fault. If a student needed something, it was up to me to find a way to make it happen. I began to dub myself as the fairy godmother since it seemed that I had to keep pulling miracles out of my ass just to please my superior. One day I just broke down crying at work and told everyone that I wanted to quit. I could no longer take this crazy lifestyle since I had been working under these conditions for a year and a half. It was already difficult to talk about Stephen Hawking, Leonardo Da Vinci and Bill Gates all in one sentence in order to answer student questions about their courses, but it was entirely different story trying to appease the increasing demands from my boss.
My boss became concerned about my mental and physical well being since it obvious that my health was in decline. I would discover blood in all my bowel movements and sometimes my nose would bleed as well. My hair began to fall out and I would suffer from dizzy spells that left me motionless. The doctors also noticed polyps in my uterus and an increase of abnormalities in my ovaries, which led them to believe I had cancer. I also had a continuous menstrual flow for six months. The doctors and I began running tests before I began the school year but the stressful life seemed to make matters worse. They would run blood test after blood test after blood test. We soon discovered that the amount of blood loss led to a severe iron deficiency. A normal person might have an iron blood count of 40, whereas mine was 6.
The combination of cancer threats, iron deficiencies, and the pressure from work made life almost unbearable. I spoke with a union rep about my working conditions and leave of absence. He requested all my work emails and was appalled at what I had to endure for such a long time. After six weeks of working at my previous school, it was time to pack up and say goodbye. I ended up taking six weeks off in order to recover from my illness, but the transition wasn’t very smooth and I felt compelled to help my students during that time period. I was given strict orders not to do any work and perhaps my interference led to some bitter experience for the supply teachers and staff.
Once the doctors and I agreed I could return to work, I had to prepare for a second battle. Despite my efforts to create a truce between my boss and I by coming in during my sick leave to help with the program and all the nice emails I had received from her during this instable time, she was preparing a counter attack on my mental health and teaching ability. The Health department and Principal wanted me to attend a psychological evaluation before I returned to work, because my Principal thought I was insane for teaching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and The Chronicles of Narnia as part of the English curriculum. She could not understand why I would tell students to read the novel and compare it to the movie. She thought I had an obsession with fantasy and that only insane people like fantasy…therefore (and let me just make this clear that I and the millions of people around the world who support the HP and Narnia franchise) was insane.
I explained to her that my students were low functioning and that there were statistics proving the HP franchise increases the literacy level in most students. I also explained that the Narnia was a classic tale renowned for its religious allusions so it would make it easier for me to teach Narnia to my kids taking English and Religion. I also confessed that I chose the books randomly, because I knew the movies were coming out and most likely would be blockbusters. I could rely on the media to create a certain buzz and hype over the books, which might motivate the kids to actually read the books. The students seemed to enjoy the books, but not all of them wanted to read such long prose. You can only imagine my surprise when the Principal ordered the kids to attend at field trip to the theatre to watch the movies as part of their cumulative project even though I was against the idea!
My union rep heard both cases and told me not to attend the evaluation. After a short battle with my union rep, it was decided that I should be transferred to a new school and so begins my next tale…
posted by Ophelia Pace at 6:02 AM
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